So often, motherhood can be overwhelming. Fears creep into our thoughts that we never considered before having children. Thankfully this is our body & mind’s way of protecting our offspring. However, when the fears become overwhelming and intrusive, it becomes hard to enjoy the wonders of motherhood. Our mind tends to start thinking in extremes. It can be hard to see situations clearly; especially when a scary scenario, with vivid images, plays over and over in our mind. Everything becomes a danger. For some, they can just push the thoughts and images away. For others, the images and fear take over. This can be hard to admit to others for fear they won’t understand and so often we are met with “that’s ridiculous” or “don’t think like that.”
A good practice to get into when you find yourself caught in a cycle of fear and worry is to begin imagining what you want the situation to look like.
For Example:
Every time you approach stairs holding your baby, your mind begins flashing vivid images of you falling and you losing your grip on your baby.
Once these thoughts and images begin:
Imagine a stop sign and tell the images to stop.
Begin imagining what you want to happen when you go down the stairs with your baby - everyone reaching the bottom without fear or injury.
If the images of falling or dropping your baby return, imagine the stop sign again and start over with the image of walking down the stairs without incident.
Sometimes it helps to speak the words out loud:
“Stop!”
“I will walk down these stairs without falling. My baby and I will be okay.”
Talking with someone is often very helpful too. Keeping these thoughts to ourselves can sometimes only perpetuate them and make them worse. However, it’s important to think intentionally about who you share things with during this time. Not everyone is the safe to be vulnerable with or the best person to tell your fears and worries to. If you don’t have anyone you feel safe talking with, or the images in your mind turn to harming yourself or your baby, please reach out to a counselor as soon as possible or text the Crisis Line (741741) if you feel you need immediate help.
At Birch+Magnolia, we can help you find a counselor that specializes in pregnancy or postpartum mood and anxiety and provide you and your family with support for the in-between.